utifullbea on The Xbox One Outrage DeezNutz on The Xbox One Outrage boomboxguyjj on The Xbox One Outrage Tralio on The Xbox One Outrage boomboxguyjj on The Xbox One Outrage
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve listened to the new Bruno Mars single Gorilla, and I have been thinking about its implications. First let’s talk about its obvious meaning. The song is an anthem for aggressive sex, and it is shown by lyrics such as:
Look what you’re doing, look what you’ve done
But in this jungle you can’t run
‘Cause what I got for you
I promise it’s a killer,
You’ll be banging on my chest
Bang bang, gorilla
You and me baby making love like gorillas
You and me baby making love like gorillas
However something was bothering me about this song, and it had to do with what I know about gorillas. First, gorillas live in a harem society, in which you have a mature alpha male gorilla which is surrounded by female gorillas and also lesser male gorillas. Applying this to the song I believe Bruno could be implying that he has sex with a lot of women.
However there is one more fact about harem societies that perhaps he did not take into account. Generally mammals that have adopted this social structure have proportionally smaller penises than other mammals. This can be due to the limited amount of competition, which evolutionary speaking they do not need to have large penises. Thus this is why on average a gorilla’s penis is around 1.5 in (4 cm). Now has Bruno Mars accidentally implied that he’s…
Coming up a little short?
I like football. As someone who designs games, I find the turn based strategy system fascinating and incredibly deep. Understanding the roles of each player, when to employ different types of plays and formations, and the fine grained details like how to use the clock make this a very complex game. Add the drama to the mix that is wrought from two equally matched teams and that is what makes this a wonderful sport to watch.
While I appreciate football, I don’t care for the culture as much, and I feel that most people who say they hate football are actually speaking about that. I do not care for the beer swilling, loud and obnoxious fans. I do not care for the sexist marketing. I do not care for the overall intolerant nature. I do not care for putting athletes above the law of normal people. I do not believe in pumping ludicrous amounts of money that could be going to academics. There is a problem with this culture, but I believe that this is not just relegated to this sport, but speaks volumes to what needs to be fixed in our broader culture. We are not happy so we drink. We love sex so we objectify one another. We don’t care for people who are different, so we commit acts of bigotry. We deify people who contribute very little to our advancement. Finally we waste a lot of money on entertainment. This needs to change.
I admit the last point is hypocritical for me to say, since I devote my work to games. However, that does not change my views that games can be something more; much like other forms of entertainment. I find it ironic how many of my artist /entertainer friends hate football, let alone most sports, when they are another form of entertainment. The fact is the athletes put a large amount of time and effort into their craft much like any other good entertainer or artist. The tragedy is because of the culture in place, sports like football can almost never be used for anything more than entertainment anymore.
While the culture needs some adjustment, I like football. Go Cocks.
Finished Bioshock: Infinite, and here are my final thoughts. Overall it was a very well made and polished game. The story was very engaging and had the right amount of twists and cliff hangers to truly stand out as one of the most well written narratives in a game. Despite my love/hate relationship with steam punk, the visual style was stunning. Coupling that together with the stellar soundtrack and sound design made it a holistically beautiful and immersive experience. The controls, while different from standard FPS’s, were tight and intuitive, and the UI was well laid out. Truly the crown jewel of this game is Elizabeth, and she is one of the most amazing and useful partners (NOT SIDE KICK) in any game to date. I hope more games take some cues from how she was integral to the story.
With that being said, it’s far from being really great. I know many people have claimed that this is a work of art and this truly defines games as an artistic medium. I whole-heartedly disagree with that. While the story, visuals, and sound make for great movies, they do not make for great games. What ultimately sets games apart from other artistic mediums is its play and how it binds everything together. Overall the gameplay was dull, repetitive, and was disconnected from the story. If I am supposed to sneak into this place to rescue a girl to pay off some sort of debt, then why am I going in guns blazing, Rambo style? Would it have not made more sense to be a stealthy, puzzle game that was punctuated with action moments? Instead I had to brutally murder a countless number of the same handful enemies just so I could learn a little more story. That’s not fun, and it is more like doing a chore, so that I earn the right watch another episode of a TV series.
Another big disconnect for me was the vigors/plasmids, which are one of the corner stones of the Bioshock series’ gameplay. First do they make sense in this game? If there are so many vigors lying around why was there only one enemy that used them? Were they just put in because it’s a Bioshock game? It honestly feels out of place, despite how fun they can be used.
For me the story, Elizabeth, and every thing but the gameplay are the elements that keeps this from being a disaster, and is why I would still recommend this game. Oh, and since people like scores for game reviews, I’ll give this 4 curly mustaches out of 5.
THE INTERNET IS ANGRY!!! ANGRY AT XBOX ONE!!! I NEED TO VOICE MY OUTRAGE FOR THIS THING AS WELL!!! Actually no I’m not, but I would like to address some issues I see with most of these arguments that I don’t really see as making sense, and is more of a testament to how selfish, greedy, and paranoid the core gaming community is.
Outrage #1: USED GAMES REQUIRE A FEE!?! THIS IS BS WHAT IF I WANTED TO BORROW A COPY FROM A FRIEND TO TRY IT OUT!?!
Let me break this outrage down in a couple of ways. First, yes the used game market does hurt the industry, because it hurts developers. These hard working folks toil tirelessly to create an entertaining experience and end up being shafted by greedy publishers and distributors. Used games cause a dent in those people’s pockets and thus ends up moving backwards to the people who actually love creating games. This method, but still not the best, may ensure that the developers see some more capital. I suppose this breaks down to would you rather give your money to greedy people that do pay the people who make the game, or would you rather give it a distributing company like GameStop that under buys, oversells, and none of the used sales money goes to the people who make the games?
Furthermore, this is a very similar model to how Steam works, and for some reason the gaming community gives them a free pass. On Steam you make an account buy games (some of which you have already bought in the past but whatever you still want to play it without finding 10 floppy disks), and then using an internet connection you download, verify the game with some form of DRM, and then play the games. How is this any different? Is it because we still live in the days where Microsoft is the evil empire? I’m not saying they’re perfect but the fact is that both Valve and Microsoft are businesses. They are in it to make money, and they only care about you as long as you are consuming from them. Flat out. Stop pretending that they want to be your friend.
Now as for borrowing a copy from your friend… Come on… You just want to play it without paying for it. That’s selfish. Free downloadable demos give you an opportunity to play a game so stop acting like they are some how keeping you away from the joy or trying to pull the wool over you.
Also I’ll address this here as well. Yes, I have bought my fair share of used games. Yes, I have acquired games by less that reputable means. However I realize that those acts were selfish and I am just as guilty. I have since tried to stop doing that, since now I know what developers have to go through, and it has given me a lot more respect for their work. Developers, stay classy.
Outrage #2: NO BACKWARDS COMPATIBILITY!?! I MAY HAVE TO REPURCHASING GAMES THAT I ALREADY BOUGHT!?! THAT IS QUITE LITERALLY HITLER!!!
I actually spoke a little bit about this in my last post, and I don’t really see this as being as big of an issue as most people do. Does some how buying this new console render people incapable of keeping their old one and hooking that up when they want to play those games? If you are one of these people mad about this and yet you have more than one console hooked up to your TV, then please shut up.
As for repurchasing games, we are moving in an interesting direction where it seems like games are becoming more like a service akin to Netflix than actually owning a physical copy. Once again Steam is the best example of a fully digitally distributed system where you purchase access to a game, but it does not necessarily belong to you. For instant you cannot trade those games, you cannot resale those games, and if you die your account cannot be inherited. Once again I have alluded to talking about this argument in more detail but for now, but the fact remains in the near future you won’t own games. You’ll pay for the rights to play them. Now if you want to play those games you already bought… Sadly, as it exists now, you have to repurchase them, and that is a result of this transition It would be nice if there was some way to find a way to verify one had bought that game and then either have access to it for free or for a smaller charge, but as that seems like a logistical nightmare they are going to avoid that.
Outrage #3: MICROSOFT IS BIG BROTHER!!! THEY ARE ALWAYS WATCHING YOU!!! THE XBOX ONE WILL NEVER TURN OFF, SO THEY CAN SEE WHAT KIND OF CORN CHIPS YOU EAT AND THEN PUT IN GAME ADVERTISEMENT TRYING TO SELL YOU MORE CORN CHIPS… OR THEY WANT TO WATCH YOU JACK OFF!!!
I have to admit the always on thing… Doesn’t make much sense to me, and I get the idea of wanting to quickly get into playing with your new dog in the special edition Call of Duty Kinectimals. However, it just seems like a pointless feature. Now does that mean Microsoft is going to spy on you? Seems very unlikely. No one wants to pay a team of marketers to sit and watch neck beards in their boxers scream at a TV.
Those are the outrages I have seen more often than not. I’m sure this post may cause more outrage, so I’m putting my flame shield on high and preparing for the worst. However the fact remains, if you don’t like these practices then do not buy the console, but don’t act self entitled, greedy, and paranoid when a company is trying to make money.
The gaming world looked on today as Microsoft revealed it’s new console, and nearly everyone I know let out a collective, “meh”. The presentation that Microsoft gave was mostly used to demonstrate the hardware benefits and also to crush rumors circling around the internet.
Let’s take a look at the facts as they stand. People can take off their tin foil hats as it was confirmed that Xbox One does not need to be online all the time. However it seems that it is advisable to have an internet connects to allow all the seamless media and updates to occur. Speaking of media, the first part of the show seemed mostly dedicated to non-game features. A segment, like many others in the past, went way too long. It’s interesting that you are able to hot swap betwixt TV and IE quickly, but I don’t go buy a game console for those reasons.
The unit is a mostly unimpressive designed box. It’s a box that looks as if a PS3 had mated with a 3DO. I did notice that half of the shell was vents, and I’m glad they are working hard to avoid another RROD debacle. However, it’s what inside that counts, and from some early specs it is a beast. I cannot wait to see what comes down the pipeline in the next couple of years that harnesses all of that power.
There is no backwards compatibility, and while a lot of people are upset about this I really do not have a problem with it. Virtual consoles have rendered the need for backwards compatibility useless. ”Is it fair to have to pay for something you bought twice?”, I don’t think it is, but you are paying for convenience. If you were so inclined to play those games then get up, hook up the old console, and play them the way they were meant to be played. I, personally, am waiting for the day that consoles work more like Steam and it all becomes digitally distributed and/or digitally registered. This way you only purchase it once, either online or in a store, register it through the console, and it perpetually works on that system or any other system that hold those rights. However, this also holds an additional can of worms as who really owns the game? The consumer? The game company? This will be another blog post for another day.
Like it or not the Kinect is required. I do not have a problem with this as long as they don’t try to force developers to put in Kinect-centric features where they do not belong. I was impressed to see that they had enhanced the device by adding in some finger recognition along with balance shifting. This should make for some more interesting game play modes if implemented correctly.
While this was mostly centered around the features the games shown were not terribly impressive. Here’s what I took from the main game showings. EA Sports is still making sports. The “Forza” demo screamed, “Check out these reflections!”. The “Call of Duty: Ghost” had some top notch dog graphics.
The overall feeling for this show was as if Microsoft treated all of us like a child who was born too close to Christmas. They gave us some gifts for one holiday, and is holding out to give the rest later. Hopefully E3 will be Christmas.